7/22/2012 03:02:00 AM

How to get laid on your first date? (or rejected)

Posted by McSimillian

Was reading the comments from Joystiq in a post about Peter Molyneux's new game called Curiousity.
Someone commented something so awesome i just had to share it.
Part of the comment goes like this:


"My dick, is, like...I don't want to say the Alpha AND the Omega...but yeah.  It's God-like.  Shit speaks in tongues, turns water into wine, and will...

...tear.  Your.  Shit.  Up.

The Apocalypse?  It's 'bout to be up in you, baby.  Your soul is going to throw up on your ovaries.  Your fallopian tubes...WILL BECOME WORMHOLES.

You're not even going to come.  You're going to went.  Yeah, I'm'a bang you so hard, even grammar's going to get fucked up.

Your eyes aren't even going to roll in the back of your head...your heads going to roll in front of your eyes.  Your body will curl around your toes.

When I'm done, your vagina will stand by the ocean wearing a nightgown and give itself to the sea...because it won't have any idea how to get more wet."

Pretty vulgar, but yeah, awesome right? xD
Try saying that on your first date! LOL

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